-just a thought-

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-15T19:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Mommy,
Mom, thank you for teaching me that "everyone is equal in this world." That not one person is better than another. That we are all human and that we all make mistakes.
Mom, thank you for teaching me to "never go to bed angry at someone." That there is always tomorrow to discuss it over and come to some kind of agreement. To kiss and love the person anyway because we never know when they will be taken from us.
Mom, thank you for teaching me that "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." That you should be kind and soft spoken instead of using harsh words. That anger just makes things worse.
Mom, thank you for teaching me that "if you haven't got anything nice to say don't say anything at all." That it is much better to remain silent than to say something that you will regret later on and cannot take back.
Mom, thank you for teaching me that "patience is a virtue." That in this world you will need to wait sometimes and that instant gratification just makes your heart want more.
Mom, thank you for teaching me that "good things come to those who must wait." That if it is meant to be it will happen. That if it is not meant to be than there is a reason even though we do not know why. That someday we will understand when the time is right.
Mom, thank you for teaching me to "treat others as you would like to be treated." That "putting yourself in someone else's shoes" will open your eyes to how they must feel.
I honor you, Mom, with my love and gratitude because of these things that you have taught me in life. I will never forget them. Because of you, Mom, I have become a person who tries to be nonjudgmental, kind, patient, fair, loving and compassionate. I only hope that I can pass these same characteristics down to my child, so that he will be as proud of me as I am of you. I love you, Mom. May you be blessed always.
Love, Your daughter...:)

Class of '93

2011-03-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

Some pics to share during the mini reunion we had recently.

Standing L - R: Jailin, Andy, Gerard, Felicia, Lola
Sitting L - R: Maxwell, Roy, Richard, Wilfred, Willmon

Discussing

Felicia @ Kitit - person incharge of the food

Andy - got the ball rolling about what would happen next to Class of '93

Maxwell & Roy (Max masih sibuk makan nie:)

Richard ("Logistics" Andy bilang)

Wilfred & Pastor Gerard

Mr & Mrs Andy

Jailin brought extra food - bosou, tuhau & even bubur

Willmon (Andy's rival when it comes to talking)

I think it was around October last year (maybe lah tu!) a few of us decided to get the old gang together - a reunion for friends who studied together in the same class from ’88 to ’93. Being the person who contacted as many friends as possible was not exactly smooth sailing. Contacts in FB were quite limited since some do not have one. Managed to get contact numbers of friends, sms-ed them but some unreplied (broken hearted la kunu! LOL!). So began the planning of eventually what took place on 26 March 2011 at Singgah Hati Restaurant, Kota Marudu.

I don’t know about the rest of the guys but this was the first gathering, sort of a mini reunion, I had with them after 20 years. Mixed feelings lah kunu....wasehhhh!! The thing is I was late. Andy had his fourth round of food (well according to those who were there earlier) by the time I was there - to be exact, we. Ada kawan lambat juga ba. The food was 'Ok lah' but I think it was the gathering that counted the most. Bah so berbincang la kunun kami and who else but Andy who did most of the talking - biasa lah, dari dulu Andy tetap Andy. Macam tidak boleh potong ja bila dia sudah bercakap. After the collection of RM ada lah about RM160 (bukan RM110 seperti yg kena sms ah) dalam tangan a.k.a tabung Class of '93. The plan was to have a yearly reunion as well as help the school. How? 'Tingu la nanti apa macam.' We ended with a prayer led by Gerard while holding hands together. Wah simbolic 'satu Malaysia' bilang si Andy...nah Andy lagi.

Thanks to all who managed to be there. Thanks for your support and most of all thanks for friendship!!! Cheers!!

Hiatus Mode

2011-03-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

Yes, I went rafting from Pukak to Malangang

Jalan-jalan with friends

'Mengskodeng' at Tamu KB

Attempts at panning cars at drift at Beaufort

Futsal (Played bah)

Was given the opportunity to shoot Ruhiang-Kiulu Adventure Challenge

Train ride to Beaufort with friends

On hiatus mode for almost two months!! Hope the photos would share the story...

I NEED A MIRACLE (with lyrics)

2011-01-28T05:09:00.000-08:00

We sometimes face life difficulties thinking that we are strong and are able to breeze through them without any hassle. We tend to forget that He, God, is always just a prayer away....watching us as we stumble and grope our way in the dark, waiting for us to fall on our knees and seek Him. I was going through some songs this evening and I kept seeing this song yet wasn't able to play it. As I was preparing dinner, my youngest son suddenly began throwing up. The few times he was admitted at the hospital began to haunt me. I got even scared when he threw up the second time. I sat with him as he rested on the bed.

"Mommy, what if I vomit again tonight?"

"It's ok. See...I put some towels next to you already?"

"Mommy, come pray?"

"Ok..."

He sensed the fear in me...yes, we need miracles in our lives, and right at this moment I really need it. After the short prayer with Ed, I clicked on this song and it really touched me. So, I'm sharing it with you. Happy Sabbath folks!

Goodbye 2010...

2010-12-31T19:00:00.000-08:00

This year has its usual ups and downs. They made me laugh as well as shed a tear or two. But like we say, they become our experiences which shape us into the person we are to be. I'd like to think it as the part and parcel of life that would make us stronger. Life can be hard sometimes and look uncompromising but God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Everything works out as it should...and for a reason.

So I am closing this book 2010 with a smile...and hoping that the new pages we write on would be filled with wonderful blessings from above.

Happy New Year 2011 everyone...

December...

2010-12-24T22:58:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know it's been almost two months since I last made an entry. It's the holidays so I guess I could use that as an excuse...:)

Well, here are some photos just to sum up what I've been up to. Merry Christmas folks and hope you have a wonderful new year ahead. Cheers!!!

Taken at Wasai, Telupid. Bonjo doing his dive...

With cousins @ Tanjung Lipat

SDA Sports Carnival - Tamparuli vs. KM

At Nexus Karambunai

Letting go...

2010-11-05T20:10:00.000-07:00

To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring;
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To 'let go' is not to cut myself off;
it is the realization that I must not control another.

To 'let go' is not to fix;
but to be supportive.

To 'let go' is not to be in the middle
arranging all the outcomes;
but to allow others to effect their destinies.

To 'let go' is not to be protective;
it is to permit another to face reality.

To 'let go' is not to regret the past;
but to grow and live for the future.

To 'let go' is to fear less and love more.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

It's November...

2010-11-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

It's November. Just two months before we close this chapter of our lives. A month which I would go crazy *lol* lot's of last minute things to do I bet before school closes. Decisions to make symbolizing 'hey you're old enough to decide!' How I wish things were simpler (well, at this point of time lah!) Haha, anyway Iike the song...and for those of you who know me, songs that I post has meaning to me. So, hayati lah liriknya ye...:)

Take care ah...

Suppose. . .

2010-10-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

This poem is for you. . .

Suppose one morning you never wake up,

Do all your friends know you love them?

Are there any wounds needing to be healed?

Friendships that need rekindling or three

Words needing to be said.

Sometimes 'I love you' can heal and bless.

Let every one of your friends know you love them

Even if you think they don't love you back

You would be amazed at what those three

Little words and a smile could do

Just in case tomorrow is too late....

A friend tagged me to that poem. I read it and then read it again. It brought me to a point thinking whether I have left friends or even family members for that matter hurted with my words or action. Someone very close to me, commented, "La, kadang-kadang ko main lantak saja cakap. Ko tidak suka akun kalah walaupun ko tau ko salah." Ooohhh I tell you, it was a slap on the face. Sometimes the ego in us hate to admit that what we have said or have done may have betrayed and wounded a beautiful friendship or a relationship.

Hmm, so to you Eyes - friends and family reading this post -, just in case tomorrow is too late, from the very bottom of my heart I am sharing the poem with you today.

Have a wonderful week ahead...:)

There's Always a Place. . .

2010-10-15T22:30:00.000-07:00

It's another Friday night...and I just came back from an 'all-of-a-sudden-call' for practice. While waiting for the group's turn to practice, a few of us were sharing about a friend who was once so active in youth activities but had eventually left her faith after high school. It's been years now and out of the blue we heard word that she was 'inquiring'. As I was listening to the Heritage Singers, this song stuck out this evening. Ya, we've come face to face with crossroads in life and probably it (they) had led us away from the faith we once had, yet I think that God still holds us dear in His heart no matter what we've been through or what we've done. He is there waiting. . .waiting for us to take our place at the table.

Happy Sabbath everyone and may you be blessed by His presence in your life...

He's gotten used to living, on the outside looking in, Lonely was his constant friend. So when the invitation came that clearly bore his name, He hardly could believe the words he read.

There is always a place at the table, there's a feast that's now waiting all your own, Your place is set each time the family gathers, it would never be the same til you're home. (Come home, come home, my child come home...)

She's made so many choices, that had torn her life apart, And hurt the very ones she loved the most, She did not even know where someone could begin, until she got this message from the host.

Cry on my shoulder. . .

2010-10-04T20:02:00.000-07:00

I got this from a friend. . .Just to keep music in your ears, get your feet tappin' and body swayin'...Enjoy!!

Roses...

2010-09-21T20:20:00.000-07:00

I don't know if any of you had come across this things or even thought of the meanings behind the roses that you have received... But it's good to ponder upon these things....

1 Rose
Exceptional love all concentrated on you.

2 Roses
Two of us deeply in love.

3 Roses
I love you.

6 Roses
I want to be yours.

9 Roses
Love each other eternally.

11 Roses
You are the one I love most in my life.

12 Roses
Satisfactory union and mutual affinity.

13 Roses
Secret admirer.

24 Roses
Remember fondly every moment(24 hours cannot forget you).

33 Roses
Saying "I love you" with PROFOUND LOVE.

36 Roses
Feeling romantic attachment because you come to me.

44 Roses
Constant unchangeable pledge.

50 Roses
This is "Regretless Love".

56 Roses
My love.

66 Roses
Successful love affair.

99 Roses
Love with understanding makes love eternal.

100 Roses
Harmonious union in a century, remain a devoted couple 'till ripe-old age.

101 Roses
No other love but you.

108 Roses
Please marry me!

111 Roses
Eternal love.

123 Roses
Free love.

144 Roses
Loving you day and night eternally.

365 Roses
Thinking of you everyday, love you everyday.

999 Roses
Everlasting and eternal love.

1001 Roses
Faithful love, 'till forever

So Eyes....how many roses do you want???

Potrait of a Friend

2010-09-19T13:30:00.000-07:00

I read this poem in a friend's FB and thought that I'd share it with you.

Potrait of a Friend

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears.
But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.

I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the future with its untold stories.
But I can be there now when you need me to care.

I can't keep your feet from stumbling.
I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.

Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine;
Yet I can share in your laughter.

Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge;
I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.

I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.

I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you,
But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.

I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting,
But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.

I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend.

Pssttt...thanks for being that friend.

Smile eventhough your heart is aching....

2010-09-06T05:56:00.000-07:00

Last week was hectic even if there was that Merdeka break. The stack of exam papers forced that frantic rush of madness, insanity (!) to take over the wheel. I had to get it done before the hols. It was not only me agonizing the every red stroke on the paper but the other colleagues were experiencing it too. The visit from the formally clad education officers did not make the situation any better.

I was tracing my steps back to the comfort zone of my desk when I bumped into a colleague. The conversation took place.

"Lola bonus ka hari ini?"
"Ha?? Belum lah."

Took a few steps but then. . .

"Ko habis mark paper sudah"
"Belum. Tension sudah ni, mesti key-in hari Khamis ni."
"Oh, ku pikir Lola sudah siap. Nampak senyuman mesti sudah siap mark paper"
"Hmm..."
"Saya suka nampak...buat orang tension senang sikit"

A few close friends often commented on the value of that one simple smile. Reaching my comfort zone made me think what that colleague said. Although it was stressful getting those papers done, I could still smile. Like MJ's song "Smile though your heart is aching..." Today I have a reason to smile - we are on hols!!! But more, because I have somewhat came face to face with my past, looked at it and gave that smile I should have given long time ago.

Psstt...my smile for you today is here captured with my niece Lana (taken by hubby!). . .

Praise His Name...

2010-08-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Enjoy the song. Happy Sabbath and hope you have a wonderful one...

At work today....

2010-08-27T07:53:00.000-07:00

Bad or what?

Someone just pulled the door open and we felt the gust of anger blown in. I only stood there helplessly and watched my close friend torrented with insult by a senior colleague. I decided to keep my mouth zipped because I had no idea what the heck was going on. Minutes later, it was all over the workplace. . .however with an added totally out of what I witnessed version to it. By then, I had the story as to why that had happened. I left the so-called war zone with a colleague who again supplied another host of juicy details to it - probably her version. Geez, some people just could not keep their mouths shut. It made me want to bite them...or maybe hold up my hand like that! Ha!

J, you handled it very well, in style lagi tu.

Anyway, it is the weekend people....I gotta keep my spirits up. Ta-ta....

Can you reach my friend. . .

2010-08-26T07:25:00.000-07:00

This song says it all. . .S it's dedicated to you:)

I got a call from an old friend, we laughed about how we had changed
But I could tell things weren't going as well as he claimed
He tried to hide his feelings, but they only gave him away
the longer i listened, the more i kept wishing i knew the right words to say

Can you reach my friend, You're the only one who can
Lord I know You love him make him understand
Can you reach my friend, Bring his searching to an end
Help him give his heart to You

We talked for more than an hour, and I smiled when he mentioned Your name
I said that I knew You and told him the difference You've made
He never thought he would need You, but maybe he's changing his mind
As we said goodbye Lord, I told him that I have found something he'd like to find

2010-08-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

I sorted through pictures I took some time ago. I couldn't recall the exact dates but perhaps they were taken last year. Sometimes we overlook the simplest things in life because of our so-called schedules, deadlines, appointments, etc. We are so restricted with time that we do not even try to smell the blooming flowers, watch the ants march by, listen to the birds twitter and other movements right under our nose. The "Eeee, Mommy what is this?" serves as a wake-up call to the unconscious attempts of the mind to block out just those simplest things in life. I just wish that I would make time to appreciate the littlest things before the grey hairs and weakbones take over. :)

Psstt, J & N...this is an update you know:)

Singapore Escapade

2010-08-12T19:34:00.000-07:00

I know...it's been a while since I last blogged. A friend and I are trying to outdo each other in updating this online journal. So, this is a brief update J...:) The picture(s) shares the Singapore escapade with a few other friends. Our 'hotel' was much better than a five star hotel - towels, food, sometimes transportation, etc...provided! With that kind of pamper you get from your hosts, you wouldn't want to leave! Wouldn't you want that??

The Prayer - Amazing 7yr old Rhema Marvanne

2010-08-11T05:59:00.000-07:00

I just love this.....

February 14...

2010-02-14T08:22:00.000-08:00

Pssttt....happy hearts day people!!!

Putrajaya Night Marathon

2010-02-08T08:03:00.000-08:00

Yessss!!!! Terribly exhausted but we (my running buddy Debbie, Edward and myself) crossed that finishing line! The route was hilly and challenging but determination pushed us. Next one on the list would be Borneo Marathon and probably followed by Standard Chartered KL Marathon. Wanna join?

Schoolboys...

2010-01-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

Ed excited entered his first year in kindergarten with more zest than I could imagine. He handed his bag to me before I could even place my own on the table and said "Mommy, I have homework."

"Okay, we'll do it after your nap."

Instead of napping, Ed decided to drag his mattress, flop on it and got his eyes glued on the 615 channel, his favourite channel. It was at the tip of my tongue, "Ed....(a long Ed, which Ed would certainly understand that he needs to do something else)" but I stopped myself and decided to give him 10 minutes of undisturbed moments. Well, in a way it gave myself adequate rest before I battled with homeworks and other chores.

"Ok baby, let's do your reading now."

Silence.

"Ed?"

Then without taking his eyes off the box, nonchalantly he replied, "Ok Mommy, You read my homework ok...."

And with Nell....

Almost everyday Nell would ask me whether I would be home early or not. If I replied 'early' his eyes would lit up and give me one of his sweetest smile and say "Mommy, pick us up at the bus-stop ah."

"Bus-stop?" There was no bus-stop inside SASS campus!!!

"Oh, the one where all the mommies and daddies sit and wait."

Yes, it's back to school. . . .and I'm proud to say that all three kids are in school this year. No doubt there would be that busy-ness of sitting with them with their books scattered all over the table but I think I would look back some years to come and wish they could be the young ones in the family again....hmmm....

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T01:20:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year people! The booming sound of the colourful firework, the shouts of glee from the youngsters who decided to jump into the pond, the tantalizing barbecued smell of chicken wings, sausages, fish and lots more welcomed 2010. There were exchange of hugs, handshakes and mumbles of 'Happy New Year' and 'Resolution?'. Then it sank in to me that I haven't given it much thought...so 'to achieve something' marked with a smile was my answer.

1) I'd like to be student again - burn the midnight oil, nose into every related books, etc...

2) Run a marathon or two - sweat it out!!!

3) Spend more quality time with my family - I cut down on 'earning extras' last year and I enjoyed just being with them.

4) Learn something new - a musical instrument - a flute perhaps?

5) Be more patient - hmmm....I need to!

There are lots I would like to accomplish....but for now that would do!

Happy New Year...and may we have one roaring year!

Hello world!!!

2009-12-01T23:20:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's been awhile (*sigh*). Life, again, is on the fast lane. Amidst the busy-ness of being at home and doing the planned plus unplanned list, my legs are itching to do something out of the ordinary - say into the jungle again?

It is December and the kids are counting down to Christmas. Decisions to make like which wedding to attend, family gathering to show up and well the gifts to wrap. No, haven't done the X'mas shopping yet....have you?

Just a short one Eyes....ttfn....

My Maliau Story....

2009-09-25T04:04:00.000-07:00

Lovebirds

The convoy

19 September
-Packed breakfast and lunch in separate containers especially for the kids. Also prepared sandwiches to be munched along the way...and we were off at about 8 a.m. from SASS.

-Filled in gas at Keningau and had to tapau chicken rice as I had carelessly forgot to bring rice...shhh..

-Sweeper for the convoy...so we ate dust (ha!), well not exactly..;P . Drove after Nabawan to the Maliau entrance. Flat tyre along the way...thanks to a Vigo driver who pointed it out, if not...hmmm...

-Kononnya, we (Haris (driver), George (tukang suluh yang buli tahan tau!), Romeo, Beevy & I) went for a night safari...only spotted a tonduyutung, a damn big rat which at first we thought was a pelanuk. We caught sight later a payau just around the studies center.

20 September
-Went up the canopy walk and the observation tower.

-Enjoyed Romeo's hot tea while playing cards.

-Did the night safari again but...again another disappointment...spotted deers but was not able to get satisfying pictures of them. Saw lots of musang....and never got to see the infamous tambadau they (those who were luckly) saw.

21 September
-Those who were out from midnight till about 3 a.m. were the last ones to leave (ha! siapa lah suruh kan)

-Romeo's car broke down as we were nearing Keningau. Had Hari Raya lunch at Archeley's aunt's place.

-Left Keningau around 6.30 p.m.

Although there was disappointment in not being able to see the animals, I appreciated the fellowship the convoy shared. Our kids had a great time and to me that is what matters most...

Stay Young People

2009-08-19T23:20:00.000-07:00

Hey, it's been awhile. . .been on the fast lane these days. Anyway, here's something that a friend sent to me.

We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are! HOW TO STAY YOUNG (hmm!)

1. Try everything twice: Loved it both times!
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches;)
3. Keep learning : Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them,at every opportunity.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time. Lost time can never be found. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Gettin' older, ma cherie!!

Well. . .Edward's back from 'saya pigi buang sampah dulu sambil sambil test itu jeep'. I can hear the vroom killing the silence of the sleeping Kg. Pangasaan. That would then mean, as Tigger puts it, TTFN. . .

Good night Eyes. . .

How quick are you. . . .

2009-07-17T19:01:00.000-07:00

How quick are you to ask for forgiveness or to forgive others?

A few months back, a girlfriend and I were talking about that. . .forgiveness and how a particular incident involving a friend of ours had somehow brought us to that crossroad. The question or rather the phrase "Aiyah, I just cannot. . ." clearly reflects our holding back on the issue. During a meeting recently, I leafed through a book brought in by another friend and the letters of the following sentence came alive sending a pricking sensation into my state of falling into unconsciousness (I was really trying not to fall asleep over a very boring agenda!!)

"There are a number of reasons we struggle to truly forgive others."

1) Fairness. It's true forgiveness isn't fair. But if we all got only what we deserve, none of us would have a chance to be at peace with God and others. . .and probably with ourselves(?)

2) Pride. We also struggle to forgive because of our pride. If we 'let someone off the hook', we wonder how we can feel good about ourselves and whether others will just take advantage of us. Tidak mau minta/mengaku kalah(?)

3) Deep hurts. Some people have hurt us deeply and really aren't looking for forgiveness at times. This makes forgiveness extremely difficult and painful. In some cases, forgiving others doesn't guarantee you will have a good relationship with that person - or should even be around them. But even if forgiveness doesn't change that person, it does change you for the better in your heart.

Observation #1

2009-07-12T19:25:00.000-07:00

First observation for the trainee today. I didn't want to make her life as a 'soon-to-be teacher' like hell and so I sweetly and kindly (duh!) told her I was escorting her to class. She was more than prepared to battle the odds in the class with all those colourful, attractive teaching materials with her that got the students glued to their desks. They were extra obedient, extra hardworking, and extra attentive! She got the students down to do summary while I, on the other hand, attempted to look busy scribbling comments and putting down that number. My designated task was done in matter of minutes and my mind was begining to wander elsewhere (ha!).

And sooo.....to keep myself within the boundaries of observation/evaluation, I pen down the contents of the article "A Good Lifestyle" which was given to the students.

1) Have a good exercise. Don't just exercise but throw in the element of fun and you will enjoy it more.

2) Take up challenging and stimulating activities as it adds zest and excitement to your life.

3) Listen to good music.

4) Some people risk their lives a great deal by rushing around on a daily basis. Stop and enjoy a cup of coffee or watch a sun set or even smell a rose.

5) Have a good dose of laughter and thought.

6) Fill life with the things that matters and not with things that come from a store.

7) Set your priorities right. There will always be time to clean the house but you may not get the chance to see a rainbow.

I'm okay. . .

2009-06-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

Mid June and the first day of school after a two-week break – a break away from the chaos of ‘abc’ and ‘123’. The time spent with the kids and hubby was rewarding in many ways. Apart from that, I also had time for myself – doing my own stuff and the likes of it.

Time – I took advantage of it trying to help Edward with the continuation of building what we call home. Ha, here again I find myself on that. We do get into squabbles on the tone of colour, the design, the landscape and just about everything. In the end, of course, we do come to an agreement. We definitely found time to just stroll along the beach holding hands (^_^) watching the sun set while the kids run ahead of us in their own merriment.

I also spent it watching the kids grow. . .and they still are! I’d just sit and be a spectator of their inquisitiveness exploring what to me was just our yard but to them it was a world of their imagination. There were a lot of ‘ooh’s, ‘ah-ha’s plus their shriek of laughter reverberating within our yard and the kagataan (rubber trees) nearby. Enya, assuming her kakak role, sometimes giving in to the cries of ‘Enya, help!’ from her brothers. Nell, the abang, cycles over the rutted ground hoping to gather the speed to conquer a slope on his hand-me-down bicycle. And well there’s Baby Ed (no longer a baby!!) with his hair matted with grime and sweat pushing/pulling his toys over the sand. Joie de vivre! *sighs*

As a parent, I've grown personally with them too! They've taught me in their own ways. We heard of the passing away of a girl. The daughter and only child of someone we knew. She was the joy in her parents lives but was snatched away at a very young age. Her mom was overcome with grief that amidst her (the mom) cries she would just lose consciousness. Well, you know in situations as such we hear bits and pieces of cries from the mom especially on how the girl was too young to be taken away and that they haven't spent much time with her and so on. *sighs* I recall watching a CSI series when in one case Gary Sinise (as Mac Taylor) ended by saying something like 'find the time to be with the ones you love.'

I was jarred awake from my thoughts as I saw Nell skidding on a stone and in like slow motion fell off the bicycle. Having sat there for quite sometime, I clumsily stood up, almost falling myself, and hurried off towards him. He looked up with that indelible smile on his face and said "I'm okay mommy."

Awesome. . .

2009-06-14T18:06:00.000-07:00

I got tagged by Olla Chas, an SAUC-ian friend whose blog I enjoy reading! It's been days and it still has kept me thinking about it. . .being awesome! I've been tagged a couple of times and so this time I decided, just to amuse myself (*giggles*), do this.

Here goes seven. . .

1. I guess being married to Edward is awesome. He is awesome in so many ways. . .and that makes me awesome(tumpang awesome lah!)

2. Having given birth to three wonderful children (and I hope that's it^_^) makes me an awesome mom. The package that goes from the conception till they're out. . .I tell you, would make any woman awesome!

3. I asked Edward what he thinks about this "awesomeness". He was in deep thought (and I was like hmm....nothing awesome?) and then gives me this answer "Supermom slash superwife." Well, why not? Am a working mom with three kids, with chores at home (no maid ah!) to do, keeping up with unplanned activities on the spur of a moment, while trying damn hard to find time for myself. Pheww! And this leads to awesomeness #4.

4. I am a passionate lover (*giggles*). . .Edward can vouch for that.

5. I trust my instincts.

6. A very close friend said that I am a someone who she could talk to for hours. I was her echo when she laughs and was a shoulder to cry on when she felt like it. (Hmm, gotta keep my shoulders padded more ofteh lah)

7. Altruistic!

I am gonna be awesome by tagging friends who are awesome in their own unique ways.

*Trixie
*Ita
*Debbie
*Misz
*Miriam

. . .and it's back to my awesome SAUC-ian friend Olla.

Peace. . .

2009-05-24T18:35:00.000-07:00

On hiatus mode for about two months!!! I give credits to the laptop which decided to crash (probably at the right time) and the bundles of papers to be done with before the hols (I had to!). That hiatus mode had its own busy-ness plus the multi-levels of stress to handle. It was as if I could almost burst and explode into a charging bull by just the act of a flaming red cloth. . .aww!!

I find myself online again from home after the long wait for the man to fix the lines since. . .well dunno exactly what the problem was. The guy said "Itu wayar sudah putus. Itu urang yang sambung dulu tidak kasi bikin bagus-bagus." And so the rambling of the flaws of the not-present-colleague begins.

"Home is where the heart is." That would really be true especially if you are still in the process of completing what you call home. Thus the dust, sand, chips of cement, pieces of metal are strewn all over the place and what makes it more unbelievably frustrating is sweeping the place wouldn't make any difference to cleanliness/tidiness within minutes. The children, on the other hand, are oblivious to that so-called surrounding. They consider it part of their playground and place their mom wallowing in various degrees of guilt - if they get hurt or sick or something?! Hmmm, anyway. Still its our very own home.

After the fuss of the day, I would sneak up to the attic, lean against a beam, let the cool night breeze carress me as I look out into the twinkling lights of neighbouring houses - the advantage of having it perched on a hill. In that blissful silence, I found my peace. I may have been 'terputus' from the peacefulness during the day but before drifting off to zzz land that's all I needed - a reconnection to it!

Peace Eyes!!

Seven natural wonders of the world

2009-04-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

A teacher asked her students to make a list of the seven natural wonders of the world. The class set to work on the project for quite a while, and as time wore on some of the students finished the list. The teacher said the children could go outside for recess as each one finished. Eventually, only one little girl was still at her desk writing. Then she smiled, wrote something, and jumped up, joyfully announcing that she was done and skipped happily out to play with the others. The teacher picked up the paper and read the following:

7 natural wonders of the world:
1. Seeing
2. Hearing
3. Tasting
4. Touching
5. Running
6. Laughing
7. Loving

What are your 7 natural wonders of the world??

Yesterday and Tomorrow

2009-04-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry - two days that should be kept free from any fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its aches and pains, its faults and blunders. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. We cannot undo a single act we performed or erase a single word we said; we cannot rectify a single mistake.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and its performance. Tomorrow is beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise either in splendor or behind a mass of clouds - but it will rise. And until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, because it is yet unborn.

So, what does that leave us?? Today. A person can fight the battles of just one day. With all the armor and weapon in hand, a person can charge forward to claim what Today has.

TGIF Eyes!!!

So. . .

2009-04-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a month or so since I last posted any of my rants and ramblings, incoherent thoughts, feelings or whatsoever. Well, here goes. . .

Having this new superior being in my workplace has kept us on our toes forever(!) She has this whole idea of work, work and work until we may drop dead at her feet begging for mercy, begging to add another extra hours to the 24-hours we already have. Hahahaha, nah lah. . .some of my colleagues find her tempo a lil' bit at the vivace speed - no rit. or ritards at points where one would only wish for. But she's damn good I tell you. She gets what she wants and turns down what she sees as unimportant and impractical. She's a workacohlic which is no surprise when she seems to be in the state of oblivion about our recent school break. Hmm. . .

Being a single mom (hey, don't get me wrong here;P) has been driving me nuts!!! It's not just the work, kids or the chores at home since that's part and parcel of the label mother a.k.a mommy but also the unfamiliar territories I find myself in at times when in need of muscle power! But hey, it got me into fixing (or maybe making it worse?) leaking taps, part-time electrician when a bulb at home refuses to light up and trying to dismantle this scaffolding thingy when big brother-in-law needs it. Aside from that, I think I've learned to be more independent and stronger in facing the inundating decisions and scenarios I encounter each day as a working mom. Still, I am really looking forward to the day when Edward gets to complete the 'out-station' phase of his work. . .

Well eyes(;p), despite that whining I've let out, it's not that death threatening *giggles*. There's always that weekend I look forward to or those stolen moments when I either sneak out of home or let the kids tag along looking for something more soothing, comforting and relaxing.

Ending here with a few pictures taken during my silence. . .

A place I love going to when in search of solitude

I saw this can rolling during a friend's open house and why not? Took a shot of it(!). . .
Hehehe you know like clicking the camera. . .

The bridge submerged in water

One of those cool evenings

Sunrise from home

Sunrise from the hanging bridge at Kg Damat

At Kg. Damat

On her way to motherhood

2009-02-27T11:00:00.000-08:00

Heard the familiar sound of Khelex's engine revving pass by at about 5.45 this morning ; ) I smiled. . .my sis was on her way to Hospital Likas. I speed dialed her number (just to make sure that smug look on my face was for real!!). Yes, she was finally on her way to deliver her first baby and my bonus question was "Painful?" Very silly and unnecessary of me to asked her that since I was supplying her with info on the different stages of pain I went through and how irritated I was when being asked questions. . .especially when it concerned the pain. "Painful lah buduh. . ." plus that chuckle of hers was what I got.

Well, as of 8.30 a.m. she hasn't burst yet but was about to be wheeled to the delivery room. Hmm, another added member to the clan.

Happy weekend people. . .

Marsha, Choco & Lona

Choco ramas-ramas!

Mich and Lona

Induction Program. . .

2009-02-08T18:50:00.000-08:00

Just some shots taken randomly. . .

I love you. . .

2009-01-16T07:06:00.000-08:00

Boy 1: "Bye Mommy! See you later. Love you!!"
Boy 2: "Bye Mommy! Good girl, kay. Love you!!"

The very words that started my day as I was about to speed off to work. Friday morn. Papers strewn all over the desk, handphone beeping somewhere, files pulled out from somewhere under. . . .uuhhh, wouldn't believe the mess today. Again people of higher rankings will be visiting Monday, so it was the hustle and bustle of getting every last minute thingy done. The whole darn week was like hell, so I guess we were rotting there too!!! We were, well lets say I was (I wouldn't want to say about the others) getting edgy and probably growing those terrible horns as well as tainting that halo (wish I had!!). All I needed was 'de fork' as my colleague supplied me with that thought after slamming the door to the face of another colleague and muttering those awful otherwise surprising (!) words.

Hmm, not much of being a good girl as Ed puts it every morning. But as I sat down and let the steam around cool off, I'd smile at the thought of my two boys imitating what their mama says to them before leaving them. Anytime of the day I would surely hear those same words ringing from a 'bigger boy' and it will make my day. . .or else to ease the tension all I need to do is speed dial the 'bigger boy's' number and taa-daa. . .I'll smile.

TGIF people. . . that indeed has also made my week. . . .have a blast this weekend!

. . .and there was clicking. . .

2009-01-14T04:29:00.000-08:00

Hello Eyes;) Here are some pictures I took a few days/weeks back. . . .

a) . . .ahhh. . .blue. . .sunrise shooting but it rained so Wendell, Josie, Beevy and I had to make do with what we got.

b) Lona, Michelle, Arlene & Mich's mother-in-law...New year countdown at Mich's place

c) Waiting to flash away during the TA4XDC New Year Challenge (Andy, Wendell and Frisco)

d) At Poring.....Edward & the kids while I was taking pictures, well someone had to;)

Simply...

2009-01-08T21:22:00.000-08:00

It's 1.22 p.m. . .

Still in school...hmm, weird?? Weird especially on a Friday...

No...not overtime...not get paid for OT what!!!

Waiting for the "Ok pick me up at..."

Deciding whether to upload pictures to this blog and probably flickr...

Stomach growling...

There goes my sms...I guess I've got to pick my passenger up already...

GTG people....have a wonderful weekend:)

Happy New Year. . .

2009-01-05T17:08:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone. . .it's our second day of school and the new school year welcomed us with 'busy-ness' even before we punch in for the day. Nazirs were around and some of us were 'caught' in class unannounced. I had my share of encounter with them. . .pleasant in some ways that I had almost every 'right excuse' to their probing fault-finding (in a way! *grrr*) interrogation. We have a new lady principal in and pity her. . .her first day in school was chaos.

Hope your start of the year was as you might have wanted it;) Cheers people!!!

Merry Christmas everyone. . .

2008-12-29T04:59:00.000-08:00

Am I too late to wish you a Merry Christmas??? I would like to think the greeting is never too late. There's the song "12 Days of Christmas" and the saying "Let Every Day Be Christmas" which makes me think "Merry Christmas" will never be ancient anytime of the year. It's been great fun this year round always. As a child, I look forward to Christmas which meant travelling miles to a kampung - visit my maternal grandparents, mindahu, meeting my cousins and of course there is that gifts we kids always 'hope' to get;). As an adult now, the enthusiasm is probably slightly different considering that I have my own family now. Still, the family reunions (busy you know!), carolling, and wrapping of gifts (now for my children) has that same kind of tingling feeling in me.

This time we - just us (Edward, myself and the kids) - spent Christmas as a family. We were up at Kundasang (and even at this moment as I type this, we're still here) having not a white snowy Christmas but a cool, foggy (in exchange of snow!) Christmas. It has been a worthwhile time spent together before school reopens (arrghh...dreading it already). While Edward was busy at the KWM (Kundasang War Memorial) we - the kids and I of course - would be, hmm...lets say snooping around every inch of Kundasang (well almost *giggles*!)

I hope that what ever 'style' your celebration of Christmas was, it was meaningful in many ways. Merry Christmas everyone...

Tamparuli in flames then to ashes...

2008-12-09T01:05:00.000-08:00

This was among the first shots I was able to take

at about 6 a.m. . .

. . .at 8.30 a.m. . .

. . .and at 3 p.m.

"I would die for you, lay down my life for you...", sheezzz....the vibration and the ring tone from my handphone within reach woke me up. Checked the time 5.45 a.m., checked the caller - my aunt....hesitantly I answered.

"Hmm...?"
"Tamparuli on fire! Ru Lim's block!"
"Wheennn..?"
"Now lah...still burning oh...we're going there already."

The line went dead. I rushed out of the room and found two inhabitants of my parents home watching football...well, probably that since they mentioned it previously.

"Shops on fire. Come!"

Wait...I had to retrace my steps back to the room...realized that I only had a big, flimsy t-shirt on *giggles*. Slipped into what I really needed, grabbed my camera bag, threw my car keys to Andy and off we went to witness the flames devouring every bit of the old wooden block of shops. Well, down it went and so were the speculation of many who were there. A lil' bit of excitement today....that and bringing the kids like almost every hour there to satisfy their every excuse to see the fire-engines, firemen/policemen at work, what remains of the burnt block and of course their search of keropok and ice-cream.

Sleepless nights. . .

2008-11-30T15:05:00.000-08:00

It was sleepless nights for me the past few nights. Ed has the ugly looking blisters of chicken pox. He had fever, ulcers and a very bad sore throat last Monday and knowing our boy Ed, who had his share of ins and outs of the Likas Hospital, I got him to drink kembang semangkuk (it works wonders you know;)) and of course got him to see a doctor immediately. The doctor's prognosis was Ed had flu. Hmm. . .however, Wednesday welcomed the chicken pox and by Friday it was all over him. He'd wake up at night asking for milk but I realize that he would only hug his bottle of warm milk to sleep. He'd cry on and on at times and it breaks my heart to see him in pain. I would cuddle him, rub his back, wipe away his tears just to at least ease his 'duduh mommy'. Eventually, he'll fall back to sleep. Every hour or so, I got up to check on him. Fever? Did he pee?

Edward was and is still away for work purposes. I am thankful that he was around during the weekend so I got to get my beauty sleep while he took over the task of checking the kids, especially Ed, at night. Yesterday, Ed was his usual self - mischievous, naughty and a pain to the butt(lol) to his other two siblings - eases my tensed shoulders though;) Edward called to check on us at night and knowing that Ed was getting better, we were able to be in the mood of exchanging naughty sms (lol).

Well, the blisters are drying up but I guess we'll still be cooped up at home till they're really gone. Heard the thing is going around. . .chicken pox I mean. I received an sms from my cousin Donna last night and her girl Carmen has it too. Hmm. . .so we might as well watch out not for Santa but probably for the infectious chicken pox this X'mas season. It may just be under our trees this year!!!

Our idea of a birthday celebration....

2008-11-19T22:50:00.000-08:00

Our idea of a birthday celebration this year was:

a) Spending two nights at The Cottage Hotel, Kundasang

It's a new resort with reasonable price RM 108 - heater, astro, wi-fi etc..

b) Watching the 4x4 Pesta Kubis Challenge

However, most of the time I find myself watching the two boys, Ed & Nell. They had their

own mini 4x4 in the mud when the vehicles got stuck;)

c) Spending time with the kids
It was a so called pay-back time after leaving them a week at my parents
just because of the Borneo Safari

d) Appreciating nature
This was taken at home a few minutes after we arrived from Kundasang. It was drizzling
and the kids were shouting, "Mommy, take a picture of the rainbow." Why not, especially at
almost the close of the day.

d) Feasting on a cake

Edward surprised me with a durian cake which he ordered from Trixie.

Lucky us, the kids were not so into durian. . .so we had it all to ourselves.

e) Ehemm....had time to "pak toh" also

As I was trying to put candles on the cake, the kids were jostling each other to see who gets to count the candles first. They counted and I heard them whispering....

"Huh??? Mommy is 5 years old?"

"Like me?"

"No, you're not yet 5."

"Ya lah, but next month I'll be."

"Cannot lah. Mommy not budak-budak anymore."

"Ok, you count the candles again."

And so they counted again. I can't help but smile at how kids can come up with funny things to say and funny solution to a problem. I trace my steps back to the life at 31. There were rough and smooth rides, ups and downs, bitter and sweet....you name it. The norm of life but it makes life more colourful and more meaningful. As I close that chapter of my life, I hope in the years to come if I get a chance to leaf through its pages again, I could say those experiences help me grow....

As of now, hmmm....I wouldn't want to tally the candles on the cake but instead I want to count the blessings that God has given to us...

My thoughts at random. . .

2008-11-10T16:46:00.000-08:00

At work....

1. Bored....completed what needs to be done here and loves the idea of 'vanishing' before 12.30 ;P

2. Counting days....hols just 'round the corner

3. Baby Ed's birthday....need to do something....

4. Durian...indulge in the creamy and bitter taste soon....MUST be bitter ah....

5. Where is Beevy??? Caught a glimpse of her earlier....

6. Glad got to key-in marks last week....a long queue now ....

7. Another weekend escapade???

8. Cake Mania

9. Thinking

10. Missing....Edward....

Hope to relax soon....

2008-11-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

Edward and Philip Chai on RAW

Japanese Team

River at Ulu Kimanis campsite

Sunset at Pimping Beach

Sunrise at Pimping Beach

It was another exciting opportunity to be part of the Borneo Safari 2008 event. We were flagged off with tyres squealing and engines vrooming down Gaya Street on 26 October and only returned to comfort zone on 2 November. The journey offroading was not as challenging as last year but still the experience - watching the adrenalin-rush men pushing their 'toys' to their limit, enjoying time off from work, nature, being away from the kids:( - is one I wouldn't want to miss again. Although it was a different phase of work I get there but I sure had a relaxing escapade.

Being in school these last two weeks would be like hell ;P. Documentation to do, handing over files, students to see for last minute thingy and lots more before we go off for the hols. I think back of the one week escapade - cooling in any river we get to, listening to crickets at night, sunsets/sunrise, reading in peace, the early morning walks - hmm, how I wish....It's peaceful and quiet here at home now and I am relishing every moment of that Ed and Edward wake up. I am even contemplating on sneaking out just to wander down the road to SASS and probably do a bit of "clicking" here and there. Reality checks!!! Arrgghhh, I'll trudge this last mile for this year by maybe just looking further down the road....any greener pastures???

As kids see it. . .

2008-10-24T00:13:00.000-07:00

I was driving slowly towards my mom's place when I noticed my two kids wandering about with their two friends at the parking lot near their school. I rolled down the window and was about to 'lecture' them on 'I told you not to go out' thingy but I held my peace when I noticed my daughter's tear stained cheeks.

Her story. . .

Jan Jan (my cousin) and the other boys laughed when Able (a smaller boy) fell. They didn't even help him get up and so we did (pointing to herself, my son and Able's sister Avie). Now, they don't even want to play with Able.

Then, tears came streaming down her cheeks. I looked at Avie and she was also in tears. While the two were crying, I looked at the 'victim'. . .there was indeed a bruise on his head and mud streaks on parts of his face. But he was smiling as if nothing happened.

Kids....they have compassion for even the tiniest and simplest thing in life. . . .

Sunsets

2008-10-13T19:08:00.000-07:00

A quickie. Just to share. . .taken at one of the resorts in Tuaran. It was on one of the Saturday evenings when the kids would just say "Come lets go jalan-jalan." So off we go....jalan-jalan and sharing one of the many things we love with our children...

Hoping a restful break. . .

2008-08-17T05:14:00.000-07:00

It had been a hell of a week. . . .;p) I hope (*fingers crossed*) this week would be a restful one coz it's suppose to be a one week school break. We had exams in school, papers to mark, deadlines to meet, an exam to study for and still the packing to do at home. Exams and papers to mark. . .well not to say that I'm lucky or what but 2 of the 4 classes I got could be rated as 'weak' students so going through their papers was not a arduous task. Deadlines. . .there was a lot of running here and there involved. Hope that would help me shed those extra kg, but to no avail. (*giggles*) Exam. . .geezzz, I've been asking students to study yet here I am in the same boat. It's just days away but I'm still goyang kaki. 98% of things at the present home have gone through relocation already while the other 2% will be a last minute thing then. There goes my hopefully relaxed break then....

Well, to start of this week, I went to a garage sale. . .lots of interesting items and my kids managed to wheedle their way deeper into my pockets. Nothing for me this time though I managed to bargain a bracelet from my cousin who got it from the same garage sale later in the afternoon. Such a terrible thing to do especially to a younger cousin (*whatever :p)

That's it then all. . .will try to blog some time again....

Can I forget....

2008-08-14T08:02:00.000-07:00

Do you find it hard forgetting something you are suppose to forget??? A girlfriend was sharing something 'painful' she was going through and I was at lost for words to comfort her. I couldn't find the right, soothing, calming words that some could do. She'd walk to and fro with her gestures here and there and all I did was sit, watch, nod plus the 'uh uhs' and 'hmms'. She'll stop and look at me and says "Ok Lola, you're here to listen. . ." then continues rambling. Then she pops the question "Can you forget. . ."

I reflected back on her question and wonder whether I could possibly forget and just simply delete something from my memory especially when it has a very strong impact in my life. The truth is I guess it's difficult to do so. At times when I've convince myself that I have put it behind me, it'll creep up at odd times!!!! Some say share it but probably the 'shoulder' I cry on is not comfy or spongy enough to absorb all the tears and. . . saliva;P. Then I guess it's back to making peace with the memory of it.....ooohh, the intricacies that life has to offer.

But, any chance of doing so?

An update???

2008-08-06T04:08:00.000-07:00

Weiiii, really am a terrible blogger. . .it's been way past a month since my last rants and ramblings. Busy??? You can say so. It's those days when work piles up and need immediate attention while at home...hmm another phase in my daily routine that really needs undivided attention.

There were inspectrates from KPM inspecting every nook and corner of the workplace and even eyeing every movement we made....to find faults?? Nah, not really so they say but rather to lead us back to the so called right track from which we have detoured. It was a tensed one week for most of us with some colleagues receiving very discouraging comments. But just to reflect on it made me smile....we were so prim and proper with guys in ties and the ladies neatly dressed. After the nazirs left, gone were the ties and the neatly dressed. Just to please lah....

Then there's the frenzy packing business again. Packing seems endless. I have packed heaps of boxes and gave away a few things for the SASS Jumble Sale yet things doesn't seem to get less. Yep, we're moving. It's just a few meters away from the present house we are at. On a hill overlooking Kg Pangasaan with the view of Mt Kinabalu if the clouds permit it is were home will be very soon. Home, no house rent to pay for!!! Hey, but in the process of the home to materialize....there was 'digging deeper into the pocket'. It will be worth it though. Edward complains about time and hands....if he had extra hours to the 24 we already have and extra hands of his own, then he sighs.....

I miss a lot of things - badminton, our sunset walks at the beach, reading and also the IH music making and chit chats. Hopefully soon we do get the time to do-re-mi!!!

Well, cries for undivided attention at home could be heard probably all through out Kg Pangasaan. Will keep posting;) Cheerio people.....

Finally....

2008-06-29T00:28:00.000-07:00

Finally, found the time and means to upload a picture here....a very dusty looking Ed playing at his favorite spot at my parents' place. Right at this moment as I am frantically hitting keys on my laptop, he's sound asleep. His sleeping patterns are topsy turvy these days. He may either fall asleep very early and be the alarm clock the following day or he may stay awake till late at night and wake up late morning. Pity him because we have to carry him then(which would of course wake up a grouchy 'baby') to send him to my parents before my bro sends him to nursery. Nursery doesn't open till 7 a.m. but I have to leave early as not to acquire a very red print on the punchcard.

That's it for now....enjoy what is left of a blissful weekend amigos, coz I am with a bunch more of chores to finish before Ed wakes up ;-p Is that blissful then? Hahahaha. . . .

It's been a while....

2008-06-20T07:09:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, eh? Yep, I've neglected this small portion for my rants and ramblings. It has been busy days....being a mom to three aggressive, trying yet wonderful kids plus a cikgu to students from all walks of life plus being a do-re-mi teacher at home plus....and a few more other beings. Sometimes, I feel it weighing down on me as I sit pondering the day's achievements or disappointments (if any ;)) A few months back, a friend commented about getting to do something for oneself - engaging yourself in a new interest for one - so as to loosen a bit or maybe a lot of the tension brewing in life. Guess what....I did, not in one but a few and so far I haven't regretted it.

Two of my IH girlfriends were looking at the world around through their eyes - photography! On their encouragement, I risked *giggles* myself getting one dslr. Regrets? None whatsoever. My sociable seven, frustrating four and terrible two kids were always my subjects. Models in the making with their many faces of expressions. Haven't gotten myself a 'partner in crime' though since one of the girlfriends has left for greener pastures (better chewing material for the cows!!) and one will be leaving soon. Well, a sharing partner is always around, but he gets to be the model most of the time!!!

Another one is......hmmm, got to leave that for another post. There's the sound of Edward's 'vrooming' home from taking out the rubbish.

Cheerio people! Have a wonderful and relaxing weekend!!!

Friends who care....

2008-05-31T01:43:00.000-07:00

I came across a very familiar envelope this week as I was putting stuff into boxes. I stared at the self made but very creative envelope. Didn't realize that I had kept it over the years. It stirred memories - mixed feelings, a search of identity, and attempts of self "destruction" (not suicide though!) I touched it, undecided whether to get a glimpse of its contents yet again. My daughter looked at me with her "what-is-that mommy" look and I simply said "Oh, its nothing." I put it aside and continued to pack things but "curiousity killed the cat" - not that I have forgotten its contents! I read it and read it again. It was a very comforting and encouraging as well as touching letter - I still think it is. I remember going through a tough time while at SAUC - not financially or socially but spiritually. Somehow, someone must have sensed, seen or felt the rough weather I was at and decided to "kay poh"! I almost tore it into pieces but decided against it. Looking back now, I'm glad the letter shook me and brought some senses into me. I smiled as I folded the letter and slipped it back into the envelope. I'm glad there were friends who cared and there will always be friends who care....

Oh by the way, the letter was signed "God" with a P.S Sorry for the spelling errors if there were any, my secretary is human. Forgive her! *giggles*

Imagine....

2008-05-27T08:20:00.000-07:00

We meet after a long time and we talked till 12 midnight in your room with lights off and no one else was at home. Then, your phone rings downstairs. I asked you to come back after taking the call and of course you promised you would. The person on the phone tells you that I died last night. Would you come back to your room as promised?

The ball is round....

2008-05-25T03:54:00.000-07:00

Where have I been???? Around....hahahaha, the kids wanted to stay over at my parents for a few days since their daddy was away. A blessing in disguise I would say coz I had the chance to sneak a peek MU vs. Chelsea with my bros!!!! Haven't done that for quite sometime since my other half is not as fanatic as I am with this football thing. However if you just whisper mud, tyres, man & machine he'll just drop everything!!! Which team am I a fan of??? Long time ago I used to love Chelsea but I would always lose some RM to my brothers who are die hard fans of MU. While watching the game, I still cheered for both, taking no sides at all! The reason - play safe ;) Had a few kicks on field myself during Teachers' Day too. Strained some muscles and still agonizing over it but...I enjoyed myself! My thought - the ball is round, anything can happen!!!

The little boss of the house is whining so its back to undivided attention to him now. Cheerio people!!!

forgetful???

2008-05-12T09:22:00.000-07:00

I scored again for forgetting a kettle on the stove. I got that look - you know when someone is mad at you - from my roommate. "Eeee.....kau ni, lupa itu air. Bahaya betul." Well, what could I do but look at him probably with that "minta kesian" look and just smile...I bet he got pissed off, as always *giggles n frowns* Even worse this time coz am at my usual spot at this time of nite....that is in front of my laptop screen doing who knows what but facebooking and blogging *lol* Well, on my part I wouldn't entirely blame the sophisticated technology we have now coz after a busy and hectic day from work to house chores and entertaining my kids, this is where I unwind for the day....ehemm, of course after the little ones are in their dream world. Forgetful then? Blaming on age? Nah, I don't think so. Quoting a friend, age is just a number....young or old we still tend to forget. But I guess one thing that I certainly would not forget is friends who are around. They are part of who we are. What say you???

Well, au revoir for now...better sign off before someone says I may forget where I sleep tonight *giggles*

woohoo....

2008-05-10T09:31:00.001-07:00

woohoo....a very eventful week I had...even today was. Yummy food on the menu for lunch, laughed a lot with friends and made music too!!! A very good anti-stress prescription, I can say. Something that I look forward too come weekdays. We a.k.a In Harmony - this singing group we have - had this jamming session (recording;p) again today. Hmmm, takes hours to be an artiste just to get a few pieces of papers with do-re-mi perfect-oh!!! But I think we had fun in a way coz I did. Like Ogy commented on AF "Music is a journey of the soul", I guess we and music lovers out there have our own "journey of the soul" to tamper with. By composing every note along the way with feelings/harmony, eventually we'll get to the finale with applauses and probably 'amens' *giggles*.......geez, am sounding somewhat like a preacher.......maybe its the time getting to me!!!! *lol* Yep, I'm in a new day...didn't realize that. Anyway, just a thought. I guess that means I've got to start snoring too like the rest of the pack. Ciao!

Pssttt, btw J thanks for the encouragement...that is if u get to read this blog of mine again.

How time flies

2008-05-02T06:59:00.000-07:00

I'm glad its weeken'd! Pheww....it was a hectic week even with a day of rest on Thursday but piles of work to complete! My fingers are on the keys but I find myself dozing off *lol* Kids are asleep so I get to relax and unwind a bit. Kids....yepp, there's Enya, Nell and Ed...snoring lightly away. As I was preparing dinner earlier this evening, Edward was saying something like if Enya was the only kid around, she would probably be lonely. Her brothers kept pestering her about something and she had to catch up with them and whatever they had to say. She'll bring them water, she'll accompany them to pee *giggles* and she'll sing to them if they wantedher too. Hey, not giving the impression they do not get into a fight...ohh they do. Baby Ed gets his way most of the time. As I stood holding a spatula (like I said I was preparing dinner;)) watching Enya and her brothers in the living room entertaining themselves, I said to myself "How time flies!" They've grown from babies to 7, 5 and 3 year olds this year. . .hmm, soon they'll be on their own*sighs* This rearing kids is not a simple task...i realize that. But I guess down the road, I'll be missing those "Mommy, I want...."

They are sound asleep now....and I get to blog. . .;)

Hmmm....

2008-05-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

Had fun watching man and machine in action today though I missed the best part....yesterday....so my roommate said. In between the rolling of wheels, I managed to steal time and got started on an old book "The Omega Game". Hmmm....another game...*lol*...my "roommie" didn't get to go in action....probably freaking out if another dent gets to the body of the "suzuki hummer?" nah, not worth getting it they say! No regrets whatsoever for the sweat under the hot and scorching sun...

Nightie nite ppl....happy rollin' n wheelin'!

i pause a while.....

2008-04-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

Life is full of choices. And it challenges us to choose what we think is the best. I always pause a while after going through "The Road Not Taken" with my class. Though weak in the language but this poem always manage to open up the minds of my students. Their non-ending thoughts and questions provoke my own inner thoughts and feelings; and I'll reflect on various aspects in my own life....sometimes making connections to the poem. Satisfied with what I've chosen? Happy? Regret? Sorry? Angry? Envy? Hmmm, so the list would go on but at the end of the day what would really matter is the coming days and how I would make them part of me. . . .